Time Out For Women

I had the privilege and blessing of attending Time Out for Women this past week in San Antonio. Four gals from my ward and one from a neighboring ward all drove down together. We headed out on Friday at noon... Ethan was supposed to have scheduled the time off, but apparently he scheduled Saturday off instead. He called me with the news on Thursday, but I didn't let it get me down. I just said, "Well, you are responsible for the kids at noon, so you'd better find a babysitter." Though I did say I would take them to the sitter's home. Oh, and I took Eliza with me- though I was sure after the morning of screaming we had that she was going to ruin the whole thing for me.

We ate dinner the first night at the mall food court. The people in the oriental food restaurants work really hard to reel you in to buy their stuff, once they have given you a sample, they just start saying, "Its good, no? What drink can I get for you while I make your plate?" So beware, if you don't feel like Oriental food, just stay away from the counter unless you're really good at saying, "NO." Luckily, I made it farther than a couple of my friends and my dinner looked a lot better than theirs... I think it tasted better too. I had orange chicken and beef with broccoli and it was really good. Although I couldn't eat the onions because I figured out, that was the reason for our morning of screams.
I'm convinced that Brandi is the most awesome gal in Abilene and luckily she's one of my best friends! She is so positive and kind to everyone. She is such a good friend and such a good mom. She is just an awesome example! Love ya, Brandi! Isn't that a cute picture?
Friday evening, we heard from Hillary Weekes, Chieko Okazaki, and Michael McLean. Jane Clayson Johnson was supposed to be there too, but she had a family emergency... I hope everything is alright for her.

Sister Okazaki was great. She taught us about the quote from Joseph Smith that he teaches "correct principles and then they govern themselves." She divided her talk into 3 segments; 1. What is a correct principle? 2. How do I teach it? 3. How they govern themselves? In considering what is a correct principle she brought out the fact that there are several conflicting yet true principles and the question becomes more what is appropriate for the situation. In any situation, asking "what would Jesus do?" is appropriate. She says that the way to decide what Jesus would do can be found in examining two concepts: freedom (because our agency was that important in the pre-mortal world, it must still be) and love (because the atonement, we know that He loves us that much). The best way to teach correct principles is through precept (doctrine) and example. During the last part of her talk, Eliza was being quite fussy, so I was unable to hear the details of how we let them govern themselves, but I got a few things from my friends... in her classroom as a teacher, she had two discussion chairs in a corner, when a child would come to her and "tattle" she would say, "who do you need to talk to about it?" and then the two kids would sit in the discussion chairs and work it out on their own. Governing themselves can be a hard thing as a parent, but if we are to allow freedom (which is so important to our Savior) then we have to just rely on our teachings through precept and example to get out kids on the right track.

At first I was really disappointed that Jany Clayson Johnson wasn't going to be there, but then Brother McLean seemed to just take all of his time and her time. I haven't been a huge fan of his performances, but this was exactly what I needed! My very favorite presentation of the entire conference. He said all the right things to help me feel my Savior's love more deeply and feel the light coming back into my life. I laughed, I cried and then I laughed and cried some more. It was perfect and I could tell he was being directed by the spirit, so I really felt like it was the Lord wanted me to hear. I felt that night feeling bouyed up and happy!
At our hotel, we stayed up way too late!!! But we had so much fun!!! We had a nice therapy session and we giggled like giddy school girls. One of our friends took an Ambien and she was very loopy and so giggled some more. They even heard my "seagull" laugh (if you don't know what that is... I sqeak when I get really going. Some people have described as sounding like a seagull, a sqeaking toy, zebra, I think someone once even said like drowning puppies... pretty sure that stopped the laugh). We got up and had the hotel's continental breakfast, they had waffles in the shape of Texas, which was very cool (even though they tasted yucky!).
Saturday's lineup of speakers was great! We heard from Hillary Weekes again, Emily Watts (who is a very real and funny mom), Michael Wilcox, Chris Stewart (author of the Great and the Terrible books and some others), Jason Wright (author of Christmas Jars, The Wednesday Letters), and Carolyn Rasmus. It was awesome! Some of my favorites include:

• Emily Watts talked about "motherguilt." She was so funny and so real and I wish I could remember what she said, but I don't. I do remember the feeling of joy I had as she was speaking. It still makes me feel it.
• The atonement is not insurance against bad things happening, rather it is a resource to use when bad things do happen. I don't remember who said it, I think Emily Watts... she was really fabulous.
• They did a question and answer segment. One of the questions was "favorite Family Home Evening" ideas. Brother Wilcox said they do pumpkin bowling every year. It sounds like so much fun and something that we definitely need to try! (You use the pumpkin as the ball and try to roll it down the "lane" to knock over whatever you use as pins).
• Also during the Q & A, Christ Stewart answered a question about what one can do for a spouse that is lacking a testimony. His answer, keep on loving them and recognizing their potential.
• Chris Stewart also asked all the people with someone in their family serving in the military to stand. It was about half the crowd of over 1,000 women. It was awesome and it totally brought a tear to my eye.
• As we were heading out to lunch, we saw Chris Stewart walking across the street. We stopped and chatted with him for a few minutes and told him we were from Abilene. He was stationed at Dyess for awhile during his pilot days, so he asked about ward boundaries and bishopbrics. He was very nice.
  

• For lunch we went to a Mexican restaurant on the river walk. It was fabulous!!! I had green chicken enchilada and I can't wait to go back! I liked it so much I wanted a picture of it.

• Hillary Weekes told a couple stories I was reminded of today. When she was a teenager and having a difficult time. Her dad took her to some mud flats and there were some young men playing in the water. He asked her if one of them fell in the water close to the shore and needed help, would she help? She thought about it and decided yes, she was a good enough swimmer she could help. Then he asked, if she thought he would help... she said yes. Next, he asked if the kids were further out and caught in a riptide if she would help. She thought about it and was a bit torn, she eventually decided she didn't think she could be any help in those circumstances so she wouldn't. He asked if she thought he would help, he was stronger than her and a better swimmer, but it still wouldn't be worth it. It would end up being two people dying rather than just one. The final thing he asked her was, "If it was you, do you think I would jump in?" She knew right away that he would, no question. It was funny, because she looked back at her journal from the time and all she found there was an entry saying that her dad was annoying and made her go on this drive... yet the message he conveyed stayed with her forever, whenever she needed a lift she could look back on that and knew that her dad loved her.

• Another Hillary Weekes story was of a young man that came to live in Alaska with their family. He was working on a building with her dad and it had come to her attention that he didn't feel like Heavnely Father loved him. He was really struggling with his testimony of that love. One day this young man was on a crane with some huge bricks and handing them into her dad through the window. Her dad was given the distinct impression that he needed to come in through the window. He told him and then he said it again as the impression came once more. As he said it he said, "you need to get in here now" he grabbed the young man's arm and started pulling him in. Just then, the crane broke and the platform and brick all fell several feet to the ground. When they went down to check the carnage, someone told him he was lucky. The young man looked at her dad and said, "it wasn't luck, was it?" To which her dad (who was unaware of the young man's sturggle) replied, "No, it wasn't. Heavenly Father really loves you."

• I saw a couple of old friends while there. In fact, Friday night Michael McLean told a story about a woman who told him about her son she adopted as a direct result of one of his songs From God Arms, to My Arms, To Yours. The son's name was Kyle. I ran into this friend and learned that he was talking about her son Kyle who she adopted back in the day when we both lived in the same neighborhood. It was really cool!

• Jason Wright talked about writing letters, I mean handwritingletters. They have so much value and you can keep them with you forever. Since they take more effort the person you've written to feels more important and loved. You can have a real impact on your loved ones.
• I actually felt prompted to go up and talk to him during one of the breaks and tell him about how The Christmas Jars has impacted my in-laws. I told him about my father-in-law being in MoTab and their family not having enought money to send my mother-in-law on tour with him. Well, the last tour he was going to be on before retiring from the choir they got a big jar stuffed with money on their doorstep. When they counted it out, it was just the right amount to send on her on tour. They don't know who it was, but she was able to go and have some amazing experiences sharing the gospel. He said that this really hit the spot and asked me to email it to him so he could pass it along to a few people. I don't know, maybe he was just trying to make me feel good, but like I said, I felt prompted so maybe someone he knows will benefit from it... maybe it brightened his day.
  

It was a delightful weekend and some of the most fun I've had in ages! I feel like I've made some strong friendships and am better equipped to take care of myself, my husband, and my kids. It was fabulous!